Sunday, June 28, 2009

The Annoyance tag!!


This is a tag that I am picking up from blog buddy Zillionbig. Ten things that annoy me. A few posts ago I had blabbered about not being able to express anger, so it took me a while to pep myself up to write this tag, after all anger and annoyance are entirely two different things right? Here goes..

  1. Persistent door bell in the morning. I am not at all a morning person. I like to go back to sleep immediately after I have seen the kids off to school, the hubby usually sees himself out. The morning tiffins and backpacks are organised in a zombie like state by me and the kids know that this is not the time to talk to mamma, they just get on with their acts and my younger one even says a sweet little ,"go back to sleep mamma" from his school bus. So after the house is empty and tranquil and I am peacefully dozing off for another couple of hours, I get really annoyed if the bell or the land phone rings.
  2. Coffee not made as per my taste. I like my coffee really bitter and dark. The first thing I have after I get up is that mug of stimulant. As long as I am at home and making my own coffee the cause for annoyance does not arise, but I get annoyed when I am offered a mug of sweetened milk with a sprinkling of coffee grains by certain hosts. Its really annoying, this is a drink I relish and it just doesn't go down my throat if made milky and sweet. So usually even when I am visiting, I make my own coffee, courtesies be damned!!
  3. Clutter. I hate clutter in my house. All the rooms have to be tidy and things that are being used have to be put back to their original places. This is a standing rule. Anyone disobeying this annoys me. I don't mind kids playing and building tents with blankets on the bedroom floor, and taking out all the barbies and making them ramp walk to whistles and claps. But when time's up, time is really up and they know the drill. Things have to get back to their places pronto!!
  4. Sweaty shirts hanging on doors. This has been a long cause of tiffs between me and my husband. I have till date not been able to change his habit of coming back from work and hanging his shirt on the bedroom door. I fail to understand the logic behind this annoying act. It drives me insane to say the least. There is a series of pegs that have been specially drilled in the work area for this very purpose, but the bedroom door still remains the hot favourite.
  5. Wet bathroom floors. I am finicky about bathrooms, be it my house or a hotel or anywhere else, I insist on a neat and tidy bathroom. My kids have this trait too, so they don't have to be told to tidy up the bathroom after they have used it. Doesn't take a lot. But my insistence on neat and clean toilets, annoys my husband when we are travelling. "How much time in the day are you planning to spend in there? The location of the hotel is important, not the toilet tiles for Gods sake,." But I silently stand my ground and refuse to use a washroom that's not clean and dry.
  6. No books. Being in a situation where I have no books at my disposal to read. Not that I read everyday, but its such a bliss to have a few unread books on my night stand. I feel very uncomfortable if this is not the case.

Beyond the above points there are certain traits that I find annoying in general. I am sure I have many traits that others find extremely annoying, but am not apologising here for those, they can blog it if they want.

  1. Selfish and petty behaviour. I have seen water being mixed into milk and offered to the elderly. This has ashamed me like nothing else. I have felt guilty of being a mute witness.
  2. Forgetting the roots. So many people leave their home lands in search of a livelihood, I have too. But my heart still beats for India. NR Is who change their names, as well as accents, who cannot drink anything but sparkling mineral water on their trips back home, who complain about the lousy weather and the stinking poverty annoy me.
  3. Falling in love at the drop of a hat. Every generation has such people. Its just not about today's youth. Love is possibly an ego satisfying trip for them, or they have no clue as to the meaning of.."love is not altered when it alterations find..". I have never tried to understand their psychology, they have just annoyed me with their tales of misplaced triumphs.
  4. Inability to accept gifts with pleasure. Why do these people grow up so fast? Why cannot they understand there is a pleasure in giving gifts. Why become so rigid and say no to gifts which are an expression of love? Have never understood and will never try to.

That was it folks, a mixed bag. I pass on this tag to:

Ramesh for your impressive wit

Kishore for your way with words that impress me every time

Balachandran for your maturity and experience

Amrit for your stroke of genius

Amith for the depth of your feelings


67 comments:

Kishore Choudhary said...

My dear friend Sujata, thank you so much for tagging me [Loved it] but I am very poor in your language so kindly excuse me.
Thanks again...

sujata said...

Language has never been a barrier..its the expressions that matter..please feel free to use the language you are brilliant at. Its because of your posts that I am brushing up my Hindi.

Nona said...

Nice post. :)

Persistent ringing of the bell on Sunday morning is a definite annoyance!

Sweaty shirts... ahem... ahem... No comments. :)

kavita said...

Sujata....thats an interesting list...enjoyed reading it....i promise you a very good cup of coffee whenever you decide to visit me..lol...cool post.

Nazish Rahman said...

U seem to b a strict mom...lol!!!

U see "Bad habits are like soft bed, easy to get in difficult to get out"...so understand why your husband hangs his sweaty shirts hanging on doors...lol!!! most guys do!!!

10 things i think is too much...5 is more than enough...lol!!!

Gymnast said...

Lol..i guess u would hate me if u knew me in person!!

I mostly hang my sweaty clothes just about anywhere and my room is the most cluttered thing you would have ever seen.
And i merrily ring the calling bell for as long as the door opens , be it the early hours of morning.
Give a damn about wet bathroom floors.
Persistent hostel coffee has made me immune to just about any kind of good..coffee being a far cry. I eat and drink anything, and you can never ever be sure about my coffee making skill, results vary each time.
And sometimes its a pain accepting gifts because it becomes like a debt..take a gift , better return it.

There..now you can hate me forever!

ZiLliOnBiG said...

Thanks Sujata for the prompt response.

We all share a lot in common when it comes to annoyance and most of the points you mentioned annoys me too. Except for coffee, i never liked coffee, I am a Tea drinker. Infact a teetotaler now.hehe, nice post:)))))))

Jyothi said...

That was very impressive and elaborate..

I agree to all 5 + 4 points....

I can't go back to sleep once I wake up in the morning....But I do hate it when the calling bell/telephone rings on Friday mornings....

अनिल कान्त : said...

Interesting list..Enjoyed reading it...

Nice Post !!

SGD said...

Points 3,4,5 of the first section and 1-3 of the second are ditto my feelings!!
And my husband scatters his sweaty shirts, wet towels, loose change, just about anywhere....Just hate this habit of his and he never seems to understand what I'm pissed off about!!!! CAlls me 'baatik grosto'.

And whenever i enter a hotel room, I too check out the bathroom first & my husband's comment is almost identical as your husband's!!

Debopam Chaudhuri said...

Nice thoughts, but somehow i tend to disagree on many of the points, the feeling that comes in the mind is like - what can be so bad about this!! Typical male syndrome i presume. So, i really do not want to start a debate in this platform.. may be i will try to think of my own list of 10 things that really p*** me off.. But cant guarantee that it will be in my blog by the weekend!!!!

Balachandran V said...

Ha Ha! When you said 'tagged' alarm bells began ringing, 'coz, I have been infected with the 'tagged' virus, which steals the mail addresses and sends off its own emails as if ours!

Ha Ha for you thinking I am 'mature and experienced', which I think is a polite way of telling, you are an old fuddy-duddy! :D.

What struck me about your post is that we share a lot of things - not being a morning person, being finnicky about toilets, tidying up ( tidying up is a highly meditational activity for me)- but accepting gifts is kind of embarassing to me, though I love to give gifts. Anyway, these are just annoyances, not reasons to be angry...

PURN!MA said...

I am very much a stickler for clean bathrooms, just like you. Been that way since childhood. :) nice tag. may flick it during my bloggers block.

Kishore Choudhary said...

मैं अंग्रेजी के बहुत सारे ब्लॉग पढता हूँ. पिछले एक साल के दौरान मैंने कई ब्लोग्स पर अच्छी पोस्ट देखी उन पर जैसा बन पड़ा कमेन्ट भी किया. अब मेरी ब्लॉग सूची में कुछ अंग्रेजी भाषा के ब्लॉग हैं उन में सबसे प्रिय ब्लॉग है आपका. भाषा की समस्या मुझे पढ़ने में नहीं है इसलिए आपके विषयों पर सदैव एक गंभीर राय बनी रही है. आपने सदा अपनी मिट्टी से दूर रहते हुए भी इसके संस्कारों को भुलाया नहीं है सब पोस्ट में एक ऐसा विषय होता जो परिवार संस्कृति और बच्चों के भविष्य से जुड़ा रहा है बाकि जो ब्लॉग मैंने पढ़े उनमे पाश्चात्य होने का दंभ और अविकल लिप्साएं बदरंग हो कर बिखरती रही हैं. आप एक अच्छी माँ, पत्नी, बेटी, दोस्त और एक सुसंस्कारित स्त्री हैं यही आपको सबसे अलग करता है, एक पडौसी स्त्री को पिटते हुए खामोश देखना आपके स्वभाव में नहीं है ये भी अतुलनीय व्यक्तित्व का अंग है.
आपने मुझे टैग किया तो बड़ी प्रसन्नता हुई किन्तु वे सब सवाल दिल और दिमाग से जुड़े थे जिनमे मैं अपनी भाषा में ही कुछ कह पाने में समर्थ था. आंग्ल भाषा का पूर्ण ज्ञान ना होने का मुझे अफ़सोस तो है पर क्या करू? चलो आपसे ही सीख लूँगा इसी उम्मीद में आपके प्रश्नों पर अपनी राय देता हूँ और आप याद रखिये कि आप मुझसे बेहतर लिखती हैं.

Rush said...

liked the annoyance tag..all the expressions, truly depict core annoyance.

JD said...

:-) all these things sound so familiar..
it's just that in my case it's shoes thrown all over the place..

Aw.S.M said...

Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu..lol :D

A tag eh ...hmmm...i have this policy of not doing tags coz i feel they divert me from the message i wanna sent through the blog. But i ll do this tag, not right now...but i promise u i ll do it :).

Now back to ur answers to em....i dunno about doorbells or fone's ringing but i m the worst person in the world to talk to right out of bed..i m cranky, i m angry, i m irritant..:)

Coffee..sighh..i usually only drink coffee made by mom but as of now thats not possible is it :(...so i stick to black coffee now :(.

Books, books books...same same..but fortunately that ll never happen..i ve enuff stored away for a rainy day :)

Yeah people with make believe accents, "ooh its so hot in india, y r the roads so dirty n crowded" people i sooo detest. Damn hypocrites .

And love..hehe..hehe...just clarifying that i dont fall at the drop of a hat :P..hehe

luv
amith

sujata said...

@Nona anything ringing or clanging or making any kind of noise in the mornings are terrible absolutely, and the sweaty shirts, ask your wife.

@Kavita thanks so much, I will surely take up that invitation.

@NR I am certainly strict on things that annoy me. Any habit dies hard, say for instance blogging.

R. Ramesh said...

hey friend, u r so kind..thank u so much dear..come to dxb..v ll offer u a coffee treat :)

sujata said...

@Gymnast your habits will surely rub me the wrong way. I have led such a protected life that I guess, I am not as adaptive, any coffee just wont do!!!

@Zillionbig thanks for the tag, it was fun going inside my mind and keying in the thoughts.

@Jyothi till about 10:am in the morning, my friends dont call me, I need that sleep.

@Anil Thanks

sujata said...

@SGD, not only "batik grostho, even been called aro kichu boesh holley chuchi bai hoe jabe" But let him talk, the toilet has to be clean period!!Wet towel dumped on the bed...ishhhhhhhh!!! thats a seperate point totally!!

@Debopam Chaudhuri none of the points match? you have far too long stayed away from the family.

@Balan, you are mature and experienced and that does not make you an old fuddy duddy at all.It just makes you matured and experienced.Would love to see you talk about your set of annoyances. I have always felt very happy to gift people and as I grew, I realised that when a person is giving me a gift, its a pleasure to him/her. I can never deny that pleasure. In that way, I am and will always remain a child.

@Purnima please feel free and take up the tag.

sujata said...

@kishore Thank you for your praise. I really appreciate it. Its a huge thing coming from you. I will let you in on a secret, being a bengali, I had a very poor sense of gender for non living things, as is used in hindi. For this I was tormented by my teacher in class, till I started to almost hate hindi. I was called,"oh that bengali girl..the one who does not know the difference between a puling and a streeling!!" Its only after I started blogging that I took to reading Hindi again. Only because I was so interested in the stories you write, and translating kills the fun, so I took time out and read a paragraph each hour till I completed the story. So you get full credit for making me love a language that I had given up on long back. Do take up the tag, It would make me happy.

sujata said...

Thanks @Rush

Thanks @JD, i can totally relate, i start reminding the kids from the lift on our way back home, about removing the shoes and putting them in the cabinet, the husband does hear but his huge shoes lie just outside the cabinet, till I have to yak again!!

@Aw.S.M I really wanted you to do the tag..but if its a policy, I would not force you. Dont do it as a tag..just a post on annoyances would be great.

@Ramesh thanks, will look forward to see you take up the tag, and am all for the treat, but I get to make my coffee!!

Sucharita Sarkar said...

It's amazing how similar my annoyance-meter is...no books, morning doorbell, pretentious NRIs, CLUTTER...how did you read my mind?

eye-in-sty-in said...

mornings should begin at 10! no, make that 11... just in case :P!!

Even I need my morning drink to be perfect!

A New Beginning said...

hey Sujata, loved your post, full of honesty. There are a lot of things that annoy us in life but I just pray that they remain a minority and the things that make us happy should always play a lead role.
Thanks for your visit to my blog, it felt great to have u there:)
All the very best to u!
http://aspaceofonesown.blogspot.com

Aparna said...

Sweaty clothes? Thank god you did not have a brother at home. My brother redefined the expression.Clean bathrooms is an obsession for me too. But unlike yours, my children are yet to grasp this alien concept. May be I will send them to Muscat for some training.

Priya said...

ohhh...that was interesting...well...coffee, bathroom, not a morning person...those were fun to read...although these things annoy you..but the way you expressed reflected your annoyance in a sweeter way and as always...:D:D..

Priya said...

once again here to say, loved this profile pic too...:D:D

Ajit Ray said...

Mashi, this post has gotten me thinking about how you used to put up with me when I would stay over in Pune. There are simply so many things you hate about my lifestyle. I appreciate you more now for not telling me off through those two years!

Momma Miller said...

These are great! Clutter drives me batty--I've only recently seen just how bad it's become at my house now that we have three very little ones around here. I'm hoping to just work on it one day at a time. Our dream is to eventually live in a teeny, tiny house where there's no room for clutter or excess.

Ah yes, water on the bathroom floor. Actually, water on any floor in my house drives me bonkers. It's especially horrible if I don't have shoes on and my SOCKS get wet. Ick!

Doorbells...I really don't like doorbells at any hour. If I know someone's coming over, I like to have my door open so they can come in or knock on the door. The last couple times someone rung my bell, I didn't answer (I just stayed upstairs with the kiddos). Is that weird? There are just so many sales people or fundraisers going around these days. It's actually kind of liberating to be able to ignore the bell every once in a while. LOL!

Thanks, gal!

~Shaye

Tiger said...

Hmm the list is good and i think i do a few things that would annoy you! So gonna try and avoid...

sujata said...

@Sucharita, Bong, females, same age..cant be too many differences.

@eye-in-stye-in, the later the better. Actually say NO to mornings!!

@A New Begining yah they are just annoyances that have to dealt with to make us appreciate the little pleasures that lurk in the corners.

@Aparna I know that you and your dear hubby are planning a shopping spree to Dubai..leave the kids here, it will be great!! yah I know what you mean by redefining sweaty shirts...boys will remain boys

Thanks @Priya

Nikki said...

I totally agree with all your points! I like my coffee bitter and dark too!

I had an assignment in my Journalism class once we made a lovely poster for anger. Nice post!

sujata said...

@Ajit like I said, I am your 'mamabari' everything you do is beyond fault with me. You are the king here!!

@Miller memories I dodnt have to bother about wet socks thank heavens, but whenever that happens I just go bonkers as well, its such a creep feeling to get your socks wet. Thanks for sharing.

Thanks @Vamshi

Sumandebray said...

I would love to be doing many of the things that you have listed ... but at best it could be my wish list! Nothing describes my situation better than the following quote.

If to do were as easy as to know what were good to do,
Chapels had been churches and poor men's cottages
Princes' palaces.

sujata said...

Thanks @Nikki

@SumanDebRay what would have been your wishlist?

Sumandebray said...

have a second sleep session in the morning...
have a black coffee (my body doesn't want to accept that anymore)
Have a dry bathroom. We have it here but back home it is mostly wet as there is no tub.
I have so many books lined up but got no time to read..
I guess the list is endless but these are the ones that have been carved out of your list...

foreigndesi said...

Ahh wet bathroom floors! Definitely my biggest pet peeve :P

Adisha said...

Nice post ... I'm guilty of being annoyed by many of the same human traits ... :D hehehe... Its natural I guess... for each oen to have their own set of pet peeves .... but love ur candid admitance here ...

Sashindoubutsu said...

I can relate with some items on the list..^^ nice post!

The Survivor said...

That was an interesting read :)

R. Ramesh said...

dropped in again just to say hi..c what a friendly neighbourhood u have..cheers friend..

Debopam Chaudhuri said...

Hi! Me again... I never said "None". i said some!!!
But agree with you that i have been too long away from my family...
:-(

Santanu Sinha Chaudhuri said...

I didn't know that the things that annoy a person can also, collectively, give such a fine picture of her/him. To me, it was one of those small revelations that make life so interesting.

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

sounds perfectly reasonable! :)

Babli said...

Very beautiful and interesting post.Enjoyed reading it.

Kishore Choudhary said...

सुबह लगातार दरवाजे की घंटी का बजना:
इस मामले में बड़ा ही असभ्य हूँ सुबह हो या कोई भी समय मैं घंटी बजाने वाले के अंदाज से ही उसके बारे में पूर्वाग्रह बना लेता हूँ, मुझे घंटी से ही नफ़रत है चर्च बेल लगवा लूँगा अपने नए घर के बाहर.
कॉफी में मेरावाला स्वाद नहीं हो तो:
कभी हो भी नहीं सकता पर कॉफी पीने की मेरी आदत शायद सबसे बुरी है, दिन में कितने भी मग पी सकता हूँ इसलिए को जैसी बनाता है मैं उसे बिना दोष निकले शुक्रिया ही कहता हूँ, देखे कभी आप के साथ पीने को मिली तो नया स्वाद किस रंग का होगा याद रखेंगे:
चिक-चिक:
मैं शहर के ठीक बीच में रहता हूँ तो आप समझ सकते हैं कि कितना शोर होता होगा ओर फिर वह घर में भी हो तो ... मैं पागल हो जाता हूँ जब पत्नी बच्चों को डांटती है वो समय भी कठिन होता है फिर मैं उसको डांटने लगा जाता हूँ कृपया सब शांत रहिये ..... मुझे चिक चिक या अवांछित शोर से सख्त नफ़रत है.
पसीने से भीगे कमीज दरवाजों पर:
ये मेरा पसंदीदा काम है मेरे सब कमीज दरवाजों पर ही टंगे रहते हैं पत्नी गुस्सा होती रहती है... पर मैं कभी कमीज को दूसरी बार नहीं पहन सकता मेरी घ्रानेंद्रियाँ शायद किसी एनी प्रजाति की हैं. हा हा हा ...
गीले बाथरूम:
ओह्ह ये तो कभी गीले रहते ही नहीं यहाँ इतनी गरमी है कि वे नहाने के कुछ समय बाद सूख जाया करते हैं वैसे वो भी कोई बाथरूम है जिसका फर्श गीला या उससे उपजे चिकनेपन से अटा हो.
नो बुक्स:
मेरे लेपटोप केस में ज्यादातर भार उन्हीं का होता है किताबें ओर किताबें जिन्हें पढने का समय कभी मिलता नहीं फिर भी अगर कहीं किताबें न हो तो भी चलता है मुझे बेवजह बेइरादा बैठा रहना पसंद है.
कुछ और बातें:
१ मुझे स्वार्थ प्रेरित कार्य करने वालों से कोई मुहब्बत नहीं है और जिनसे आपको मुहब्बत नहीं होती वे ही हर समय आपको अपने आस पास मिलेंगे
२ सच है सब पत्तों की ओर भाग रहे हैं जड़ों से वास्ता कम ही है फिर भी मेरे परिवार ने जो मुझे सिखाया है वो मैं अपने बच्चों में देखना चाहता हूँ.
३ ज़िन्दगी में कुछ को न करो एक काम जरूर और हमेशा करो पहली नज़र में दीवाने हो जाओ बस दीवाने ( सच में ऐसा ही हूँ पर सबके लिए नहीं )
४ मुझे समझ ही नहीं आता कि कोई मुझे उपहार क्यों दे ऐसी हालात में असंयमित हो जाता हूँ और फिर जो कुछ कहता हूँ वो सीधा अगले के मन को चोटिल कर जाता है... है कोई रास्ता इसे ठीक करने का ?

हाँ ये टैग बिलकुल मिला जुला था और ऐसा लगता है बिना किसी क्रम से किसी से कुछ पूछना ही निस्वार्थ होने जैसा है

sujata said...

@SumanDebRay thats quite a similar wishlist, aint I lucky to be born a girl..am living my wishlist!!In India after a shower I mop the bathroom floor dry, is that crazy? everybody thinks so..but I still do it!!

@Foreigndesi glad you think like me, welcome here! Loved your sketch, hope to see more of them.

@Adisha welcome to my blog. Our pet peeves make us what we are right!

@Sashinoubutsu welcome on board. Thanks for liking the post. Hope to see you around again.

sujata said...

@Survivor thanks

@Ramesh Hi, good to see you again, reconsider taking up the tag!

@Debopam Chaudhuri I think Sushree and Buran need to come here now.

@Santanu da thank you for coming over and reading the post. Yes, our set of annoyances definitely characterize us. Love to read your posts.

@Roshni Mitra Chintalapati thanks, good to know I am reasonable!!

@Babli Thanks a lot, do these things annoy you too?

sujata said...

@Kishore thank you so much for writing in. So much in common its amazing. Loved reading it, though it was in the comment box and not as a post from you, still am happy you took the effort and wrote it all. Thank you once again.

Mystic Margarita said...

Ditto for most of what you wrote :)

Btw, had to, just had to mention this - you have the exact same name as my MIL :)

ZiLliOnBiG said...

thanks, Its simple, just save the image onto your desktop. Go to customize option of your blog and insert widget, and then insert picture. Hope you get it.otherwise let me know.:))

Prem Farrukhabadi said...

you are the smartest lady in the blogging world what I feel.I think you can be inspiration for others.I am really impressed by your blog, Just keep it up for us.best wishes.

Sujata said...

Vwey well written post. You have a very good sense of humor!
:)

Imagination said...

Hey Sujata, this is really nice to read.....
Ha....I wonder had i been like you, my life would have been so very different.. :-)

I must appriciate your creativity. Your posts are everytime a treat.

sujata said...

@Mystic Margarita thanks for visiting, do come again. Hope being the same name as you MIL doesnt put an annoyance tag on me!!

Thanks @Zillionbig, I think its clear now by the way you explained, will try it out when my next post is ready, if cannot will definitely get back, thanks for responding.

@prem Farrukhabadi, dont know what to say, am at a loss of words. Keep visiting and Thanks a lot.

@Sujata wow we have same names and even the spellings match!! Yayy!! Thanks for dropping by, do come again, I loved your blog, just went in for a quick peek..will do so again at leisure.

@Imagination why do you say that? thanks for liking my posts, keep visiting.

Suraj said...

We for sure have lot of things in common that can be annoying.Your writings are very far from annoying so keep writing !

Prem Farrukhabadi said...

sujata,
I like your presence of mind.something should be learned from you.what do you do?

Pesto Sauce said...

Some things annoy no end

R. Ramesh said...

plz plz plz plz forgive me this time dear friend on tag..will catch up sometime..and meanwhile, cheers and best wishs to u and fmly

Rajesh said...

Very interesting. Quite a nice list. I am sure some of the points will be common most people list.

Guruprasad said...

i loved the post... i am not too fond of doing tags myself... find most of them annoying actually! :P
(maybe i am actually too lazy to do them!)

R. Ramesh said...

Suuu...thanks 4 the encouragement

sujata said...

suraj..agree completely, we are dead annoying to many people!!

@Pesto sauce like what?

@Ramesh chalo maaf kiya...

thanks @Rajesh

thanks @Guruprasad.

Bindhu Unny said...

hmm.. now I know how to annoy you, if we ever meet. :-)

Anonymous said...

When somebody says I cannot adapt, it is a sign of a mental block - an unwillingness to acknowledge or even see the viewpoint of others and being obsessed with one's own notions of what is good ir bad or what suits me. The advise i have for you is to sometimes let go, loosen the stronghold of your views on your life, and you will start ti enjoy it more freely. You may not even realise that your behaviour would have caused people to either be wary of you, they will try hard to do what you like (or does not offend you), but the warmth on the relationship would go away, it will be mechanical. Since you will not willing to listen, people would just stop saying anything. This is not an ideal situation.