Friday, November 13, 2009

Tell me what you feel..

Like my blog, I have been neglecting a lot of things that are close to my heart lately. I have been putting it all to the back burner, saying the same lines repeatedly,"Next weekend, when there's a bit more time.." I must have said this a dozen times over the last couple of weeks, to my kids, to myself, to my friends.. only to realise just a while back, that time does not come, I have to create it!!

Talking of realisations, I have suddenly realised that men like trash!! Am I seeing raised eyebrows? Am I seeing a few eyes getting closer to their computer screens? Or am I seeing,"DUH!!! what did you think?" expressions!! Hahahah, but really, I have always prided myself, to the point of being egoistic that I was attractive to men because of my wit, of my intellect, and to an extent, because of my nature!! But believe me that's not what men want..MEN LIKE TRASH!!!

By trash I mean, women who throw themselves over anything male(had a better way of saying it but, my daughter reads the blog..so being careful with my language here), by trash I mean women who are constantly on the prowl, making overtures, making moves, being vampish, being dumb and being damsels in a perpetual state of undress as well as distress. And believe you me - all men, starting from tramps to technocrats like that!!

Another realisation is that offices are a hub of politics. It was so 13 years back when I started working, it is so, even now! The faxes and the software could have changed but the people have not. It's either a power game or a blame game, and in between all this and the numerable coffee breaks, if there is time, some work ends up happening.

Just a few realisations and their announcements at the cost of sounding naive, biased, judgemental, frigid or all of the above!!

Lets hear what each one of you gotta say!!

59 comments:

R. Ramesh said...

yes if there is office there has to be politics seems to have become the norm..but honestly in the 90s v did not have contract system and wages were similar for all...henece v were all like one family..my mumbai friends r still in touch..the wage disparities are what brought envy and fury among colleagues..hey i am moving on a serious tract..better will stop...how u doing my friend? i thought u promised to visit dubai with family and offer some lunch party...hehe..

Shivi said...

Really? Are things like that,but one question,how have you reached that conclusion? If you are saying so than it must be true di! I take down the point exactly as stated.No comments for the first time. And I think I should ponder more on things stated in the post. Nevertheless, I was shocked to learn that. I wonder ,am I sounding completely puzzled!May be. Ok I'll return back here after a while after giving it a thought!

Sumandebray said...

So this is your Friday the 13th special.. or are you serious!
I thought I would say .... "Welcome to the Real world"
In this world people use whatever they have to get an edge in the the cut throat competition. Some one uses their mind to manupulate things in their favour and some uses their body. Even a smile is not a innoscent one these days...
unfortunately though

Akshay said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Akshay said...

Power politics has always existed not only in offices but even schools and colleges. Bhombol knew about it. In school, it was about who became the monitor of the class or who distributed the most expensive sweets on their birthday. In college, it was all about who coud get out of their college assignments or who was more popular with the opposite sex.. It is a very true but shocking fact Sujatadi! I take the points exactly as stated. Very well-written and a big "hi" to Toshali.

I would like to recommend you to read this artice about power politics for extra reading.

http://reflectionsofpassions.blogspot.com/2009/08/games-people-play.html

Roshni Mitra Chintalapati said...

well, welcome to reality!! :D

amrit said...

I really don't know if all men like girls who are constantly on the prowl, making overtures but one thing is for sure - no man loves such girls. :)

gaelikaa said...

For some strange reason, some women use their charm to get help from male colleagues and for some strange reason some men fall for it! Not all though. It's just old fashioned manipulation, actually! Nothing more!

deeps said...

Interesting… interesting …
Well, it only made me curious and didn’t have any impression on my eyebrows …

I appreciate your view and understand them … but I wonder if that s generalization!!

We have saying that if I translate, it will be something like
‘Just because a jackfruit fell on a rabbit, it doesn’t happen always’!!

Not all offices are same ha? I think it s the likeminded people who make the difference there…
Niways …realizations are always good ha?

Aparna said...

I know about one such trash. But the less I talk about her the better.
Isn't working fun? I would love to work again.
@ Akshay, who is this Bhombol you keep referring to?

kavita said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kavita said...

Sachai chup nahin sakti banaawat ke usolon se,ke khusboo aa nahin sakti kabhi kagaz ke phuloon se..

Sujata,you are far too above all this,look at Kalpana Chawla,Kiran Bedi and many more like them...why to look down when you have so much to look up to.Cheer up,Chin Up buddy !!!Thanks for sharing your very genuine gussa with us...

Kavi said...

"And believe you me - all men, starting from tramps to technocrats like that!!"

Thats not accurate ! Not by a long shot. A very long one at that !

On another note, wherever there is more than two people there is a politics. Home. Office. Neighbourhood. Wherever.

Its part of human nature and existence. Its all in the mind. And the mind fits into our skulls ! So, its kind of 'boxed' !

To accept this reality and work with it is the key to living !

There. thats my two cents !

Kavi said...

"And believe you me - all men, starting from tramps to technocrats like that!!"

Thats not accurate ! Not by a long shot. A very long one at that !

On another note, wherever there is more than two people there is a politics. Home. Office. Neighbourhood. Wherever.

Its part of human nature and existence. Its all in the mind. And the mind fits into our skulls ! So, its kind of 'boxed' !

To accept this reality and work with it is the key to living !

There. thats my two cents !

nsiyer said...

I have a very different view point on your opinion on some men.I think it is all about how things occur to you. Change the frame, things change.

I don't know whether it is politics _ I will call it gossip. These happen and I take it in my stride. Sometimes its fun too. Just chill out.

PURN!MA said...

hmm... fm putting stuff on backburner to office politics - me agrees!

sujata said...

@ramesh after all these posts finally I get this man to speak!!

@Shivi believe me its a fact!

@SumanDebRay it is a friday the 13th post in a way, its just way too below dignity and feels bad to see normal people indulge in such frivlous manner, for what? cheap thrills? I am just growing up in my old age!!

@Akshay toshali wishes you as well. hope you are fine and doing well, i will read the article you mention as soon as i make time. Take care

@Roshni I guess I have my tints off now, but dont trust my self for keeping them off for long, I need a reality check!!

@Amrit its not love buddy, its about winning, love is about winning too..justy like abba says the winner takes it all, the loser standingh small

@Gaelika, i would not call it charm, i would call it trashy behaviour, and if thats the road to success in a male dominated society, I am better off in the company of dogs and books

@deeps I did expect conclusions to be drawn. Think what you may, but men like and enjoy trash moree than they like wit

@Aparna working is fun, there is a new drama everyday! The trashes need to be talked about, they just make me want to throw up, I know about that trash!!

@Kavita I am neither kalpana chawla nor kiran bedi, just an ordinary person in an extraordinary world! Thanks for you lovely words, you always make me smile!

@Kavi I will still stand by my realisation! just like politics is inherent in humans, so is the love for trash inherent in males!!I am irritating the hell out of the male bloggers I know, but what the heck..lets just speak up!

@nsiyer hmm yes everything that I speak about is f\definitely involving me and my surroundings, but i am not in the mood of changing frames, I gotta win over the trash!

@Purnima thanks babe

The Holy Lama said...

Don't take it too seriously. You find youself up against all kinds in a day- people who want to put the blame on you, seniors who act aghast as if they did not expect'this' from us, colleagues who are innocence incarnate and act dumb and not know a thing about thier part in a project, the kinds who just mechanically do and seem to have left their brains in safe deposit lockers. forget everything and visit the holy lama. Lighten up:)

Balachandran V said...

Disappointed to note that you should make such a broad, sweeping statement re males! Well, each to his/her experiences; and unfortunate that you have come across only such males in your life! On the other hand, one should also look at the women who manipulate men by offering 'glimpses of world history'!

Re office politics, aren't you being a bit naive, Sujata? Politics is everywhere, everybody tries to clamber over others' heads.

Both are plain human nature, but do reflect on generalizing. It takes all kinds to make up this world. Don't let yourself sink into the trap of cynicism.

Nona said...

Yes, the office is the hub of politics. Unfortunately, this cannot be avoided at all in the present scenario. Even if you are a silent watcher, you will get hit by this train! Sad.. isn't it?

As for trash, bad girls are in demand! Aren't they? :)

Not sure what had triggered the post. Hope that phase is over! :)

bluebird said...

I find myself laughing.. may be without humour.. but still am laughing. I dunno if I can talk for the whole male species, but you are right in what you used to think and what you think now. Men as a rule are in awe of intelligence, compassion and strength of character in a woman; they have an innate need to be protectors, and I'd for one rather put my life to defend a lady of honour and dignity. We cherish women whom we can trust and respect, whom we can rely upon to be reliable guardians to our children.

But rules do get broken, dont they, even by the most law-abiding citizen? Tortuous are the ways of love in the world, if it could happen once, dont you think it could happen again, at a different place and time?

Life is not lived in straight lines, Sujata, but I dont think you need me telling you that!

bluebird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bluebird said...

and as for the trashy manipulators, both male and female, do you think anything you might ever be able to do to them could make their life any worse than it already is? Good men (and women) might play them for a while, the wise ones ignore them, the desperate ones use them, the fools might even fall in love with them. but dont you consider yourself of as being in competition with them. Its just lust, and that by itself is not much.

bluebird said...

Regarding office politics, its ubiquitous, even in places where life and death decisions are made everyday, although, thankfully, being faced with situations that constantly remind us of our own insignificance helps to keep things in perspective.

Santanu Sinha Chaudhuri said...

Maybe you are right, maybe you aren't. But do cheer up.

Jyothi said...

Some things never change. The blame game and the power game are a part of life. Like someone was commenting, happens in schools, colleges and everywhere else. Why should offices be any different.

Men may like trash but ultimately they are the first ones to throw out the trash too to keep the house clean. ;) Hypocrites of the first order....

Deeps said...

oh yes! office is all about bitching,back-stabbing,superseding,endless eye-fluttering between colleagues(and that surely includes the boss! ) and much more.

Know what,I suddenly realize I dont miss being at work! I'm so much better off at home :D

RGB said...

It sounded like a temperamental judgement to me. The frame of mind, the situation, the people and the backdrop that resulted in this post needs to be considered before drawing a conclusion. I would say, it takes all kinds to make this world perfect - that goes for men and women!

Destiny's child... said...

This post is the first of its kind in your blog. Atleast, from what I've read. Just chill Sujata. You are above all these petty things. Don't let them bother you. :)

Butterfly Thoughts said...

I agree on the office politics and the coffe breaks.and yes you do have to create time for what you want to do. we all have to. a fresh read and I liked it:-)

kavita said...

Hulloooo Sujata

Bindhu Unny said...

How come a sudden generalisation about men? I don't agree to it because I don't like to generalise.
And office poilitics was, is, and will be there always. :)

R. Ramesh said...

Hi friend..:)

numerounity said...

Hmmm... Hmmmm...

I agree totally with you...men love garbage a lot...they live like trash and if they don't like trash of girls....sigh sigh...

The Things We Carried said...

I am not so sure good men truly "like" trash, they just get drawn to it like a chubby woman to sugar and carbs, if they aren't very careful! That is what I like to think :). But I am the mom to four sons and I do watch the way young woman throw themselves at my sons... It has me losing my respect more for women then men.

Politics, I remeber when I thought there were places they did not exist... And here they are everywhere!!!

sujata said...

@The holy lama yah will lighten up thanks..in the process of doing so..

@Bala sorry to dissapoint, but yes most men that i have come across do like trash, they are enough to generalize, and of course the exceptions make the rule!!

@Nona bad girls are in demand and I have nothing against them, they are just trying to survive.whatever sells you see, but what i fail to understand is that men(respectable, educated, law abiding citizens) get drawn into this?? I mean if I had a roadside romeo honking at me? would I respond??I just dont get that bit

@Bluebird most men have been hit hard by this post..am smiling!! but I think as a rule men like trash, maybe its a few exceptions here and there that make this more of a rule!! I am not talking about love and marriage and family and all that..all that happens in the course of time and certain benchmarks are applicable, but once thats done..again the trash seems to get attractive!!

To reply to your second comment..if thats competition I am out of the race!!

Third comment, i could not agree more, office politics seem so kiddish, so amusing and so desperate that it makes me wonder if there is anything like conscience anymore

And finally to thank you a lot for responding in your usual non objective style. Your comments put my thoughts in perspective.

@Santanuda thanks a lot, I am cheered up now.

@Jyothi why cant I reach your blog, it just refuses to open, I heard from aparna that you are planning to relocate to India..what happened??

@deeps yah thats way much more important than work being done..

@RGB felt temperamental and judgemental..)

@Destiny's child thanks dear, I am trying for it all not to bother me

@Butterfly thoughts thanks

@Kavita I am late..

@bindhu Unny, its not sudden and its a generalization because all men like trash..its a fact a few exceptions here and there just make it more of a rule.

@Ramesh hi

@numerunity..just the gals are agreeing most of the men are taking this post to heart am afraid..

@The Things we carried..i thought you were on a break!! great to have you read this. Trashy women are everywhere, but I had more respect for the men..To see them fall like a pack of cards over frivolous stuff was a revelation to me.

sujata said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bluebird said...

It'll blow over, Sujatha. Just you wait and see. Things are never as good as they look, but then again things are never as bad as they look either. Know the good thing about hitting rock-bottom? You can only climb up from there! And no matter what, life goes on. Just you hold yourself together.

R. Ramesh said...

thanks ya..:)

bluebird said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bluebird said...

And I haven't been hit hard or anything, but it was the kind of writing- dark and cynical- that one would not expect on your page. Most of the time I cant stand the mood created by my own writing for too long, and then I come to your page - pure sunshine that it is - and a few others like it, and unwind. But I was sad for you. Sad that you had to go through whatever that made you write it, and glad too, that you might have an opportunity at hand to take stock - and who knows, in the years to come, you might come to look back upon this period as one of the best - for yourself as an individual, as also for your relationships. I wish I could for once shed my objectivity and talk to you, but lets just say I am a little shy in front of a crowd.

Dr.Antony said...

I am sure you would have your resons for saying so,still.

About postponing, it is a bad habit,like many others.
I am not a sluggard by any standards. I am punctual and prompt at my work, am said to be good at work,and never delay any thing for my patients. But when it comes to my own personal issues,every thing gets postponed. Like when I buy an air ticket. I might check the price on line..but keeps on postponing actual buying till the very end. Finally ends up buying the ticket at double the price. It so happens that the things we postpone are probably things most important to us. Like spending time with children,going on vacation,reading for an exam and so on.Dont worry.At least you have a companion here. I am developing some strategies to overcome this.Not a secret,but can share with you.

About your comment on men and their liking,I beg to differ. There is trash in men and women. If I say that women seem to like trash, can you object? There are basic instincts in both sexes.But the points of mutual attraction is our point of dispute.
You must have had some bitter experiences and I can understand your response.But it is too early to make a final judgement. Better experiences in life,some day,might change your mind.You have brighter days ahead !!

Meira said...

I get your point. Being one of a handful in a workplace teeming with me, I see it around a lot. Fighting to break the glass ceiling is fine, but becoming 'trash' to be taken seriously (seriously!) is way ugly. I haven't met a single woman who hasn't seen this happen at any of her workplaces. Not a single.
But these things apart, the coffee and the mails are fun, eh:P

Jyothi said...

I did a complete revamp of my blog. Try now and see, you should be able to access.And please check both my blogs. ;) Hope your gussa has come down.

sujata said...

@bluebird you dont fall in the category of "most men"!! This page is all my moods, the sun the rain the joy and the anger, its all here, what I cannot at times be vocal about finds expression on the page. Lets hope the sun shine comes soon, till then am ok with the rains!

@Dr Antony welcome to this space and am sorry you had tpo read this as your first post here. I assure the mood is not always so dark, but when it is, I dont see the point of mellowing it. Please visit again.

@Meira I cannot deny the moments of fun and camrediere, they are there and thats what makes ypu get up in the morning and say come on put on the lipstic and kick on the heels, lets face the day at work!!

@jyothi will try in a bit. Was this problem being faced by many? Yah the gussa has come down, just have accepted it as a way of life!

R. Ramesh said...

Hi again:)

Neel said...

Hey Didi,,..

This is to both of you..you and Bulbuldidi ...while both of your posts are good..What really caught my interest is the "Trash"..you guys are discussing...Who is she? who is she?..plzzz tell me...LOL

bluebird said...

"Be not too hasty, to trust or to admire, the teachers of morality. They discourse like angels, but they live like men" Samuel Johnson, 'Rasselas'

Babli said...

Nowadays we can find politics everywhere. But in office ofcourse it is much more than any other place. Its impossible to stop it but you can very well avoid it just by keeping yourself busy and not indulging in others matters.

eye-in-sty-in said...

i have a dog and he likes go thru the garbage bin... even after he is well fed... Its hard wired in his brain... Men are like dogs.. the presence of women - trash or not - and they got to act in a certain way... Its nothing... its hard wired... believe me, if someone more pretty or trashier comes along, they will all gravitate towards her...

btw, there was a survey done - staring @ women (ahem ahem, u know, right... am being mindful of ur daughter) ... staring @ women is good for the heart... men who do that have fewer heart attacks, all other things being equal.. :D

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

Had read it as soon as you posted and even wrote a comment, but then the comment seemed irresponsible, so didn’t bother to post. Hope everything is well now.

R. Ramesh said...

thanks..now, u better write yr next post journalist...

Blasé said...

I "feel" like you need to give more attention to your BLOG!

sujata said...

@Neel/Rintu you know the trash we are talking about..keep guessing though..

@Bluebird lovely!! what we think og as God from afar, all unfortunately have feet of clay!!

@Babli thanks dear thats a great suggestion

@eyeinstyin..hahhaha this made me laugh..hardwired for remote control, hardwired for pamela anderson in baywatch, hardwired for trash..perfect!!

@Arun yah all is well, thanks for asking.

@Ramesh the creative juices are all becoming journalistic just out with the Renaissance day issue called the majestic so am thinking point of views, features and sectorals..have to get back to life!!

@Blase thanks for dropping by. I will pay more attention to the blog.

eye-in-sty-in said...

if i made u believe that it is an excuse to get away with stuff, then its not. E.g. When 2 men/boys/kids, etc are talking and a woman walks by,
they look at her
they look at each other
they smile
they resume their talks and the woman is forgotton in a time span that rivals a goldfish's memory.

Thats it. Plain and simple.

When it comes to girls, Guys are WYSIWYG. No masks.

For the remote and trash duty, I believe all people fight/shirk duties irrespective of gender.

:-)

bluebird said...

Oh no, you got me wrong there ma'm. That was in responding to your saying that I was somehow better than the average of the male species. In fact I regret the fact that I used the term 'trashy manipulator' in my comments. Everyone uses what they have to get what they can, Sujata, be it a pimp or a vamp or a doctor. The difference is only in the mode and the degree. May be, the 'trashy manipulator', had much to gain and little to lose.

deeps said...

kya hua?
got stuck somwhere?
need push?

Suraj said...

Sensitive Topic !

I feel most of us tend to travel through the paths which offer us least resistance, maybe thats why men like trash ( easy to achieve !) But then you cannot live with trash for a long time unless you are a trash yourself. People get attracted to like minded people, though this sought of relations are a dream now as the criteria of getting into a relationship is very different now a days.

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