Monday, November 8, 2010

facebook, a pre teen and same old me

I have been elusive again and here's the excuse..

As I was sitting at my computer, staring at a blank screen, waiting for inspiration, I updated my Facebook status. "I hate when I stare at my computer screen and my fingers don't automatically start typing the brilliance that's in my head."

It's true. I always have awesome stories in my head, but when I go to write them down, the lure of solitaire or mahjong pulls me away. Sometimes I'm too distracted by the to-do list that plays a never-ending, continuous loop in my brain. Oftentimes, I'm too busy doing mom-stuff like reading to the kids, helping them with their homework, driving them here and there, signing papers, cooking, cleaning, laundry, and not to forget the editorial bit blah, blah, blah and can't sit down for more than five minutes at a time(wonder how I manage to keep my weight from falling!). But most of the time, I just have a hard time getting started.

So, tonight as I sat staring at my blank screen, Facebook called me to play. After I updated my status, Toshali commented on it, "maybe because you have a cookie in your hand :D"

Okay, so yeah, I had a cookie in my hand, but she didn't have to write it on my wall, for goodness sake! I mean, isn't there some kind of etiquette for these things? Everyone was supposed to think I was a tortured artist waiting for inspiration, not that I was too busy stuffing my face with choco chip cookies to type.

Toshali and I continued our conversation on my Facebook wall. I told her, "Be quiet and do your homework." We exchanged barbs online as I sat at my desk writing and she sat a couple of feet away on my bed, working on her homework. And you know what? I loved it. She could've worked in her room. She could've hung out in the family room, researching. She chose to hang out with me for a bit. Now I know she's a pre-teen and as such, prefers the company of her friends to dear old mom, but still there are those times when she'll come by me, plop down, and just chat. Sometimes we don't even talk. We'll just hang out. Other times, she'll make fun of me on Facebook. And it's all good. Keeping those lines of communication open is SO important even as our kids get older. Especially as our kids get older. Keep talking to them. And, maybe even more importantly, listen to them. They might just surprise you with what they have to say. I mean, I had no idea my daughter had been working so far ahead in her first year French class that she'd already learned to converse in that language and also sing a couple of french songs. Of course, I also didn't know she'd a whole new list of friends for her up coming birthday. See? Talking to your kids opens whole new worlds of information. So that adds to my to-do-list now doesn't it? Getting to know these bunch of new kids who have stormed into my girl's life in the past year!


anilkurup said...

Well !!!!!
History may repeat.
Enjoy the times and their age, It will never come back to rivet.

Nikita Banerjee said...

I second your thoughts here. As a kid, even now, I tell my mom and dad practically everything I have seen and done in the day. Even if they don't want to know!

Parents make amazing friends...

KParthasarathi said...

Be more a friend than a mom to thekids.The bonding is everlasting and strong.
Nice post out of thin air ,so to say!!You can always weave magic in your writings

Nona said...

It is nice to see you are writing again after an hiatus!

Gymnast said...

My mom has always been an awesome friend. In fact , each time i come home from college , we talk late into the night..and its awesome.

Mom will always root for you no matter what!

And Toshali has such a cool mom , how can she not be friends with her? ;-)

Anonymous said...

I saw the update on FB and I am glad I didn't comment. :) "To Do" list and "solitaire"....hmmm...I am stuck on those two too.What a coincidencey....:D

rajk said...

Hey, I so identify with the "distracted by Mahjonng/SOlitaire" bit!
And I will definitely keep your advice of keeping the communication lines open in mind. My little one is growing up too...Thanks, nice post!

sujata said...

@Nona Thanks for the welcome, hope to be regular again till I get caught up in the frenzy of the next book.

@Gymnast cool or not is for toshali to tell, but the fact remains, that I am best when I am with her. She brings out the best in me always.

The Holy Lama said...

Enjoying parenthood via facebook. Times have indeed changed!

R. Ramesh said...

nona said it: It is nice to see you are writing again after an hiatus!

Grandma's scrapbook said...

A long time , you no-this. This is useful and interesting post "Nice post out of thin air ,so to say!!You can always weave magic in your writing" well it said KParthasarathi

BK Chowla, said...

Mothers have always been the best friends.

Aparna said...

Yesterday the parents and the teen had a long talk that lasted almost 2 hours in my house, do not know whether it did any good though.
Toshali is growing up so fast. And it is good to see you here once more.

dr.antony said...

Childhood just vanishes,before you even know.Enjoy every inch of their growth and every ring of their laughter.

Balachandran V said...

Missed you! :)

RGB said...

It's been so long, that I thought I must've missed some of your posts, since I've not been too regular either. But good to see you back.

Face-to-face and Facebook bonding, huh?! Yup I agree, open communication is essential to understand children, more so as they grow older :)

Destiny's child... said...

Now I know why Toshali simply hangs around you. You are such a cool mom! Pulling each others leg on FB, what fun :)

Suraj said...

I love this i am sure with Toshali around you are yourself and when you are yourself you will write.

So may Toshali hang around you more so that you write more !

A said...

Very nice article. I find more about my daugher when she is with her friends and I just observe.

It is easier to say that mom/dad should be friends but not always possible. Children need their own space.

indranil said...

i wish........... na thaak........

anyways, :):):) for your family.

$$ said...

Wow! I love the status! most of us experience it often!

deeps said...

I bet its an amazing feeling …
You would be delighted to see her doing the kind of things you did enjoy doing…perhaps coax (not force) her do the things that you wished to do yet couldn’t…
ummm xcuse acceptd :D

sujata said...

@The Holy lama times have indeed changed and its wise to meet the kids halfway down their path.

@Ramesh Its great to be back buddy, have sent you a request on fb

@Grandma's scrapbook thanks for visiting and appreciating the post. Hope to see you again on this page.

@BKC Its a pleasure to see you here as always. heres to all mothers!!

@Aparna talks will always do good, atleast rest assured it wouldnt do bad!! Toshali is growing fast and it surprises me as well to see her like this.

@Dr Antony so very true. I agree completely

@Bala missed you too!

@RGB maybe I am prompting the use of virtuality to her..its open to discussion and debate, but I would rather be with her in all that she does than be away and frown! I am so glad to see you here.

@Destiny's child I am lucky to be her mom!

@Suraj Its good to be elusive sometimes huh? for people to sit up and take notice what say??

@A I agree, you do learn from observing them.

@indranil kindly elaborate..the dots dont make sense to me.

@$$ thanks for dropping by and liking the post and the status!

@Deeps how have you been? I am so thankful that the excuse was accepted!

sujata said...

The previous "thanks" got wiped out by mistake My apologies.

@Anilkurup Thanks a lot for bearing with the absence and being the first one to comment here. I agree completely when you say things like these will not come back to rivet!

@nikita Moms are the best always

@KPartha I wish you and your family a prosperous new year and a lovely festive season. I am honoured by your encouraging comments always

R. Ramesh said...

suuuuuu..gr8 2 hear u remember's sending all the positive vibes of laughing buddha...wishing and hoping to hear some pleasant news fm u...keep the cheers:)

ZB said...

are there etiquettes to follow on Facebook? Oh Shit...I just called someone a Fatso on his wall...let me say sorry to him and come back..TC:

ZB said...

Yes, I agree with you, all channels of communication must be kept open( as my boss says to me) with the family esp, and what better than the FB. Facebook is indeed wonderful, in fact i have known my wife better through facebook. Through her status updates and messages on her wall, i now know her other side, and some dark girly secrets too.So, Facebook is here to stay and help us homosapians to connect in a totally new dimention, which earlier through talks or other ways wasnt possible. Yea, of course, you can even poke someone now without getting slapped. TC:)

ZB said...

SOrry for the typo...**dimension**.:)

kavita said...

Toshali is very bright and so is her mom !I hope me and pre teen Gauri too share a relationship as special as both of you do .God bless :):)

bluebird said...

Hi Sujatha,

In the midst of all the doomsday-predictions of kids (especially girls) being led astray from the straight and narrow path of virtue and 'family values' by technology, it is refreshing indeed to see your take on the matter. Modernity is just there. Some people use it to build better bridges, some others to make bombs that could (and someday would) blow the world apart.

Bikramjit said...

cool mommy i must say, i would have loved my mum to be friends with my friends it would have been awesome going for GEDI's after girls with mummy ji sitting next to us :)

But yeah i do hoe and wish i have this kind of relation with my kids openess helps and yeah kids dont go worng its when they have to HIDE that they do silly things :)

Bikram's Question time

Soumyaranjan Dash said...

This post is really heart-touching! A situation well-described when you can see your kid moving towards a intelligence level a grown-up only enjoys. It's sometime frightening to realize the fact...

sujata said...

@ZB communications have to be open no matter what the medium! Hope you are well,my wishes to you and your family for the festive season.

@Kavita i am sure you already have a wonderful relationship with your kids!!

@Bluebird Yah I liked my take too! I agree that kids can be easily way laied by modern technologies esp social networking sites..but they will have to deal with it sooner or later, so what better way than be there on it with them!

@Bikramjit I am sure you will develop a great bonding with your kids. Will hop over to your blog soon.

@Soumyaranjan Dash thanks for dropping by. Its good to know you liked the post. Hope to see you here more often

Chandrika Shubham said...

Profile pic : U are very beautiful. :)
Pretty kids. :)
Enjoyed ur facebook conversation. :)
Hope u have a great time with ur kids. :)

sm said...

be friend with everyone, so they can share everything.

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