Sunday, May 24, 2009

End of Innocence...

She was all of 18. In college. Had recently lost her Dad. An autumn leaf. She loved to read. Had always liked poetry. Too sheltered an upbringing. Suddenly on her own with her rose tints still on. Her world had revolved around her dad. She was getting to know her mom. She clung to his memories. She lived in a dream. She continued her love for poetry. A whimsical girl not ready to be real.

He was 32. A charmer. A poet. A lost soul. Married with a kid. An accomplished wife - lively, beautiful and ambitious.

He was looking for validation. She was looking for love. She put his words and him on a pedestal. She did not see right from wrong. She did not want to believe in conventions. She was in love. Love knows no bars at 18. She felt like a rebel. She felt he needed her. She believed his marriage was coming apart. She was ready to give up all.

He was cautious. He was playing. He was proving a point to his wife. He was rising from the ashes of his insecurity. He wanted it all. She wanted just love. She fought with her mother. she called her practical, devoid of emotions, a robot without feelings. She didn't care that her mother had no more tears to shed. She was too full of her love. Love can be selfish, it can be all consuming, it can be ruthless, it can also be timid, double edged, sneering.

An ordinary day. A phone call. Not from him. But a friend. News that her calls to him are the joke of the office. He plays recorded phone conversations for all to listen. He massages his ego. He flaunts the love of a young girl carelessly on his sleeve. He feels like a man. She talks to him on this. He evades her. He has no answers. Her tints come crashing. For the first time she looks at the sun. for the first time she allows her eyes to get used to the blinding light of truth. She feels used and cheap. She feels dirty and exploited. She feels alone and lost.

One last meeting. She has to start afresh. She needs no answers, no justifications. She just needs closure. failing steps to a house that was once so dear. The bell that often was rung in joy, today rings in its shrill pitch. The face that was so loved, today stands devoid of its charm. An ordinary man. A thunderous slap. A flood of tears, Raging eyes. Silence and the door closes. An era closes too. Innocence is lost at the wrong door. A lesson for life.

A very common tale. But the hurt is real. The saddest part being that she was no kid. The story cannot be therefore categorized under the various forms of abuse. The story is afloat for the readers to decide. She was 18 and he was 32.











32 comments:

aleem azmi said...

very .....nice story.....GOD bless u ...keep it up sujaata ji

Aparna said...

Speechless...the best one till date. Feel like doing some SOB bashing right now. I think it was an end of illusion as well for a lot of us.

Sujatha said...

Cynicism meets naivete. The results are never good. :(

sujata said...

Thanks @Aleem for appreciating.

@Aparna we are biased probably, but def I would want to do exactly what you say and how!!

@Sujata very succinctly put!! only if naivete had the experience and cynicism had the morale..

Dr Roshan R said...

man, I hope thats fictional, but frankly, I know that it happens.. and it never ends well for the one being played.

SGD said...

loss of innocence to fan the ego of a selfish loser....sad...but so very real!

And very well written too...

Babli said...

Very beautiful. In one word I would like to say Excellent.

humanobserver said...

No comments after reading your replies to your blog readers.

amrit said...

kitna kuch hota hai life me...
nicely written.

Indrani said...

Happy ending on a sad note.
She realized before it was too late.

sujata said...

Thanks @Dr.R.R. welcome to my blog. Yah its tough to be played, whatever the age!!

Thanks @SGD wonder why some losers are so attractive to young girls..

Thanks @Babli for appreciating, onek din kono shayari likhishni keno?

Thanks @Humanobserver for reading the post, but would like to know what made you stop from commenting and why?

Hey Amrit, vatsap? Yah life is so much and more...

Thanks @Indrani Its never too late if you realise and are ready to learn and move on..but sad definitely.

humanobserver said...

Cynicism meets naivete. The results are never good. :( and I agree with you. Got ?

Happy Kitten said...

That was too good..you write so well..

nd yes such wolves deserves good beating..and being naive is not a sin..so I hope she picks up her life and forgets the past.

Chriz said...

so different way...

all short sentences.. beautifully expressed.. no more innocence indeed..

kudos to this style of writing

SGD said...

Maybe it's the aura of the matured man....so much more attractive than the geeky teenage guys!
Especially for a young girl who has just undergone the trauma of a father's loss....she seeks comfort in the arms of a father figure.

sawan said...

omg! this is so deep. and something which i never wanted to read. definitely not at this time of my life! i need more positive vibes, i need more re assurances. but maybe these thoughts could make me stronger.

hav to agree with aparna here.. seems like and end of illusion!

Arun Meethale Chirakkal said...

Quite a possibility. "What doesn't kill one makes one stronger."

Aw.S.M said...

sorry i m late..i actually had commented earlty somehow it didnt get published though.
]
Anyways..i guess its all coz of the lack of a father figure in her life. Hmmm..i luvd the story. But that toh u already know coz u know i absolutely luv the way u write.

Good work yaar. Top Notch.

sujata said...

@Humanobserver whatever it is on your mind..please feel free to write

@Happy Kitten Thanks for appreciating the writing. The header is just a picture..my living room is not picture perfect..hahaha

Hey Chriz welcome back. I used short sentences to make the post more effective. Am glad you liked it.


@SGD Yah that could be a possibility, same age boys always seem to lack the depth, but better a little dumb than way to smart I guess. Thanks for the reply.

OMG @Sawan, its been a long time since I saw you on my page. Welcome back. Am sorry if the post disturbed. But at times life is disturbing.

@Arun M.Chirakkal welcome to my blog. Yes end of the day thats what is important.

Hey Amith, I was wondering where did he go? Thanks for the response.
Lack of father figure, notions about love, fantasy, pixie dust and fairy tales..it could be any or all. thanks once again for liking the style of writing. I am getting used to the terms or phrases you and your friends use..so shall say.."right back attcha" hahhaha

Little Girl Lost said...

sujatha- that filled me with so much angst! very grippingly told. :)

Aw.S.M said...

:)

Inder said...

the guy - insensitive
the girl - stupidly naive
the world is full of them though :)

Nikki said...

It is sad but true. Happens to many of us. A very good story!

sanjoy chakraborty said...

Fantastic. Khub bhalo laglo.

sujata said...

Thanks @LGL, @Nikki and @Sanjoy for liking the post.

@Inder welcome to my blog. Stupidity is still I believe the lesser of evils.

Kishore Choudhary said...

sujata ji, post to always nice hi hoti hai aur pasand aana lajami hai, saath hi toshali ki ply list man ko bhaa gayi hai. toshu kii pasand ke geet download kar liye hain.

Rush said...

u r aan amazing story teller..with the song effects in the background and the story so compelling...it all just blended in.

sujata said...

Thanks @Kishore was wondering why everything quiet on your side. Hope things are well. Enjoy the music.

Thanks @Rush for coming to my blog and enjoying the writeup.

PURN!MA said...

Reminds me of a girl who might be gng that way! :'( Nonetheless, reading it just as a fiction, it was beautiful, touching n heart rendering!

Ishita said...

Awesome mashi! BTW is this for real? This is totally your best post.

Pradip Biswas said...

It is how sometime so happens. To me it looks like both are eighteen. A man at 32 can not play fun with emotions but a teenager who has not yet grown up may make a fun with emotions. The girl at 18 is alright. It could be a boy or a girl. But it is the age when people like to do thing which appeal them. No count on practical life is taken by. I always wish to remain at this stage.

Jyothi said...

The pain of a trust being broken!!!I wonder if she will trust anyone again?I want to believe its just a story ,but the way its written...seems too real to me..

Good writing!!I am a fan..