Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Birds and the bees..ahem! ahem!!

I always believed that I was great at communicating with my kids. This belief was held strong because my kids talked endlessly to me about everything under the sun. From their teachers to their classmates, even shared their follies and foibles with me. I prided myself on this rapport with them, until my daughter started to grow up and I got immense cold feet at the thought of talking about 'the birds and the bees' to her. I pepped myself up each day and practised my lines in front of the mirror. Wondered endlessly about ways of broaching the subject. Talked to my cousin, who shared her wisdom with me quite generously. We even came up with a line..which went like this, "God made women differently, so that they could shower their kids with love. For this a woman's body is different and a store house of love, ahem !! ahem!! and so she has to bleed every month! " Phew..I know it was a total non starter, but can't blame us for trying. And yet when I came face to face with my 9 year old, I fumbled and failed miserably. It was pathetic, I chided myself and coped with untimely wit from the hubby saying.."Maybe you should blog it.. for the kid to read and get the picture!!"

Needless to say my communication skills had failed me at the most important point of my as well as my daughter's life. I saw mothers talking to their daughters about issues ranging from sexual abuse to periods with the ease of making toast and omlette. And all I did was practise my lines in front of the mirror... what a dimwit really!! This was a serious thing, and I hated to see myself fail. I cursed the school which did not bring up sex education until class 6. Did they not know that smaller girls were molested each day and also that the intake of protein being higher now, had brought down the age of menarche? How I wished she would pop a question to me.. somehow I felt that would make it easy, but all she talked about was Hannah Montana.. Dear God!!

On noticing the fact that she avidly followed my blog posts, I did consider the option of blogging about 'coming of age'. But then it was such a defeat. Imagine having to talk to my own daughter through a blog!! I did try to broach the subject by bringing up the topic of boys.. yah I know it's way too beyond the line.. but what the hell.. I was trying at least. But the conversation stopped even before it started.. boys were quite silly and yukky, and they smelled awful after the soccer games, when they came to class. Well what do you say to that. Then I started on another plane.. asking her what all did she and her best friend discuss apart from studies and homework and of course Hannah Montana? To that she said, "Films, at times we talk about the latest films". I pounced on that and asked her what she thought about the ways of the filmstars.. and she said they were cool!! I knew I was failing again and stopped myself from blabbering further because I noticed that my 6 year old son was taking way too much interest and my daughter was losing interest as quickly.

After having struggled like this for more than a few months, finally I decided to gather a bunch of young girls in the age group of 9 to 13 and their clueless mothers to form a group. Called up my gynaec and asked her to give the quintessential talk. So today evening, I and a few mothers like me would sit with our daughters and listen to the Gynaec talk about things each girl has to know and know right and from a proper source. I would be definitely focusing on the communication part. I am also hopeful that this exercise will open further channels of conversation between my daughter and me.

I would not be surprised if my daughter has already 'googled' the topic.

Hope I am doing right..any thoughts?