Wednesday, May 27, 2009

A river and A storm...

At times I wonder, if it is possible for a mother to love one child a little less than the other. Its really a question that keeps coming back to me. Maybe because I am an only child, or maybe because my mind has nothing better to do. Whatever the reason, this question does nag me.

Both my kids are so different. The daughter- sincere, loving, open.. a chocolate that I can't ever have enough of. The son- a master story teller, always in motion, a brat with a smile to die for and a laugh that resonates throughout my house. He is my coffee, my daily stimulant. I can unwind with my daughter, relax in her company, read a book, share a moment, draw pictures together or just lie in bed listening to her talk softly about her day. I am perpetually on my toes with my son. Relax is probably a word he and I can't use when we are together. He pushes me to my limits. Every time I feel I have him in my grasp, he manages to climb the branch just above my reach.

Apparently for everybody who knows this family, I am partial to my daughter. Obviously, because all they see me do is shout my life out at my son. I am either running after him, or threatening him, or lashing out at his untidy work. I myself am not sure. Its true that life is easy with Toshali and quite difficult with Soumya. Its also true that after a long day when my son sleeps peacefully, he evokes emotions that are beyond words. If I admire sincerity in one, I have to admit that I admire boundless energy in the other.

Both are my eyes, both are my dreams. One a river flowing gently, the other a ship on high seas. Is it possible to love a dream less? I still am looking for answers.