A Woman, A Mom and then theres work as well...

Motherhood comes naturally. Working motherhood doesn't. The key of managing a baby and a career definitely lies in being organized. Easier said then done…but true none the less. Its better to be prepared for the upcoming challenges and equip ourselves with a plan than doing a repair job later in the day – There’s always going to be too much on the plate with a kid below a year at home and a rewarding job outside. The points below are oft repeated and clichéd by now and am sure many women are leading successful lives without any of these essentials.. but trust me.. its not bad to make life a bit easy..

Get an organizer. Any organizer. No matter what kind you use, from good old fashioned paper to software you installed on your laptop and be in charge of it.

Prioritize. An off site meeting with a client can probably be delegated to a colleague in case the toddler at home has gulped down a coin, in the same vein as teething problems of the child and the associated crankiness can be put on a back burner without guilt. Accepting that you cannot be everywhere at the same time giving your one hundred percent is essential. Accepting help graciously in any form does not need to have a guilt tag either.. as long as you return the favor.

A stressful day at work is often followed by a new set of tasks and demands when you get home. When your partner is looking for reinforcements and your children want your attention, a big 'head and heart' shift is needed. Thoughts about work can color the way you interact with your children and continue to distract you long after you have left work. This is natural and the child will have no memory of it as long as you don’t let the guilt get to you, so relax and smile. Once you get home, a ritual or routine can help to make the transition. This is a way of marking the physical, mental and emotional move from work to home, from worker to parent. It can be something as simple as changing out of work clothes, or switching your thoughts to your child as you go from work to home.

Talk to your partner and older children, if any, about the challenges of making the transition. This is likely to be helpful, especially during stressful times at work. Help them to see things from your perspective, try to see things from theirs, and have reasonable expectations. Expecting time to flop out on a chair and relax in front of the television as soon as you get home is probably not realistic!

Your expectations of yourself and of family life need to be realistic. It would be great if you were always able to leave your concerns behind and be the 'perfect' parent. It would also be great if children were always cheerful and concerned more about your well being than their own. Unfortunately, that's just not how things are. There will be times when the balance between work and family demands is 'upset'. For example, your child might be sick, you might be working night shifts, you might need to travel for work, or a project might require extra work or longer hours. Good strong family relationships can help you all withstand trying times. And remember, there is no universal formula for work-family balance. You, your situation and your relationship with your child are unique. You need to take into account your energy level, personality, and parenting style as well as your child's needs. Set reasonable standards for yourself with realistic expectations.

A happy woman makes the family happy..and a martyr just overloads the family with guilt.. enjoy womanhood and its blessings, live life to the fullest and remember its ok to leave your child with a care giver to attend a night long bitching session with other women..recharge yourself with whatever gives you pleasure, as your battery is the most used in the family!! HAPPY INTERNATIONAL WOMANS DAY!!

Marching Hearts...

last week it was my daughter's annual sports day at school. The entire primary section had been practising march past and drill formations in the desert heat for the entire previous month. Teachers had been writing in the school diaries for snack and elektral water reinforcements, caps and towels to keep the heat at bay were being sent by parents everyday. Toshali kept on reminding me that the children had to be in school on the sports day by 2:00 pm sharp and the parents need to take their seats by 3:00pm at the latest.We did manage to reach somewhere between the appointed and the easygoing time. After ignoring the scathing look from my daughter I walked over to the ground and managed a seat at the far end of the pavallion. The ground looked ready for the kids, the positions neatly marked the captains politely helping parents find seats, the announcers cheerful and effervescent, all in all a well spirited day it seemed was about to begin.

I had a few moments on hand and very easily, I was transported to my school days, to our practises, the races, the disqualifications, the marches, the white ironed uniforms, the presidents and the prefects so smart in there official cloaks and badges, the school flag the trophies all floated past my eyes and it took the arrival of the chief guest to bring me out of my reverie.

I sat erect and attentive, watching the unfolding of the day's proceedings it was time for the march past, without consent, without notice once again,the march past of my school days appeared in my vision.. each step matching with the other, each arm raised to the perfect angle, not a single beat missing, the flags down and the heads turned in salutation to the Chief Guest, each movement planned to perfect precision.Back again to my daughter's school, I saw children marching by to the band, I could feel immediatly the lack of discipline.. my anger rose as I remembered the hours of practice, I could see the varying length of socks and hemlines, the slouches here and there, the mismatch in steps, the kids were mostly searching for their parents in the crowd and the look of determination that was a trademark in my days on the faces of the parading kids was totally absent. This were just some kids walking by.. almost as if in a park.. I felt disapointed to say the least.. just at that point my eyes went to a little boy in the group who walked with a limp, dragging one foot behind the other, then again on searching I saw a girl with a deformity in her arm. My eyes searched and in each group I found a kid who was different, who was glad to be a part of this ritual, who was proud to belong and who was smiling the widest.

Yes!! I shook myself out of my dreams and watched in respect as the school kids took one and all of their mates through the school march. This school was not disqualifying the kids whose steps didn't match, this school was trying to march to a common step.. I asked myself is it that important to have a perfect set up for anything in life?let alone a simple march past? I remembered the sorrow of dis qualifications, the ridicule of not being able to match steps to the beat, I saw again the smiling and joyful faces of each child with mismatched steps... yes, I realised its not always important to be perfect.. there is much more to life than that!!

Thank you Indian School Muscat.. for opening my eyes to the smile of each child on that hot afternoon of your annual sports day.

Time after Time....

"Love is not Love,that alterations find.." says a famous poet, agreed to an extent..but what is love then? Is it the heady feeling described in the Mills and Boons novels that I so eagerly read in my teenage years? or is it the song and dance routine of the bollywood flicks? Worse still, is it the 'baring it all and plunging on to the next horizontal space available' syndrome of the hollywood flicks?? What is love?

It is february again and the world is going mushy and romantic. The stores are dressing up their windows with red teddies and white hearts, teenagers are eagerly awaiting that special call for the dinner date on V-day and the hospitality industry is cashing in on it big time. I am sure some producer will release a mushy love story that weekend with a chocolate faced hero and a 'cute as a button heroine' to melt the crowds. Roses, cards and perfumes will be sold in thousands, chocolates will be gifted, egos will be satisfied for a day and the day like all other days will end. Is this love then?

Love has always escaped definition, we know what love is not..but we are yet to pin down what love is.. or maybe.. that is what love is - a fleeting tempest - like the flickering candle, the passing wave, the dancing moon that hides behind the clouds the moment you gasp at its beauty, the fabled golden dear that tantalizes but cannot be captured.. the unknown dewy flower that beckons but when plucked fades off in our hands. The love that sets our hearts aflame by its freshness and romance, that makes us gaze yonder for hours and write poetry, or makes the most practical guy wait for hours at end for a glimpse of his beloved is definitely short lived. In a years time or less a routine develops and the heart does'nt come to the mouth each time you see your love at the end of the road, neither does it soar as high on getting a text message.. does that mean love is out of the window? When the gifts start to dwindle and the dates focus on the menu more than the attire.. is it the end of love? Maybe its the end of the romantic love and the candyfloss associated with it.. maybe its time to move on to discover the aftermath of the tempest! To relax in still waters, to wake up to the smell of familiar surroundings and the calm of an everlasting bond. Here the definition of love changes again from poetry to prose.. flowers though still appreciated might not top the list of priorities.. maybe a call is not made just to say 'I LOVE YOU!' maybe its not said at all anymore...But there is love, no doubt, in the unnoticed gesture that covers your feet with a blanket while you sleep, that ensures that the tank is full when you plan on taking the car out, that gives you your freedom to bitch about the increasing absence of love in today's life. Love might be less frequently visible in cards but the bills are paid and no questions asked. Love after its tumbling and gushing stream like stage has entered the laze of a river that feeds and nurtures, prods and protects, between the gentle reminder of the stream and the vastness of the upcoming ocean lies the most stable though tad boring phase of love.

Februaries will come and go..but love will be celebrated in every moment of togetherness, every gesture of care and every step taken towards a common goal. Love will shine through everyday humour as well as anxieties, it will take its course through illness and recession, it will hide and reinvent itself almost when we are about to give up on it, Love will see that it prevails through the phases and the years of our lives. Maybe love will teach us to enjoy and discover each of its phase as long as we can find where its hidden..we have cause to celebrate!!

Mothers and daughters

Love cannot be exerted..the effort shows!!! When I brought you into this world..there was an effort and it showed, when I woke nights to balm your aches, there was an effort and it showed, when I stood watching over your faltering steps and let you fall so that eventually you would learn to walk on your own..there was a tremendous effort not to grab hold of your hand and stop you from getting hurt, and even this effort showed. Were these acts not love then? or maybe you were not watching.

From a tiny girl to a precocious child..is not as long a journey as it is from this precocious child to the teenage years. As I saw you change from the baby whose world revolved around me alone, to a young girl with many facets and friends, from a child who thought 'Mom knows it all' to a girl who felt shy that her mom was a housewife and wore 'not happening' clothes, the road was not easy but had to be taken anyways. Did the effort show? Yes it did..for this time you were watching. Every praise that I uttered seemed 'too little too late' and every rebuke turned into a vicious and deliberate dagger.Yah we had entered the rebellious teens.. you for the first time - eager, delirious, unprepared, uncaring. Me for the second - apprehensive, scared, judgemental and paranoid.

We passed this roller coaster ride and mellowed, I with a heave of relief and you with eyes full of dreams and plans for the future. Somewhere in that ride, we had managed a ceasefire and agreed to disagree on the most important issues of life. I had accepted my lack of' being with the times' and you had agreed to put on an air of acceptance with your prehistoric mom. All this while somehow your equation with your dad had never changed, very surprising but very true.. as always it was a hug and a kiss routine. No interference, no problems.. but moms and daughters.. well that's entirely a different equation. I could watch you fall and get up while you learnt to walk and pride myself at my patience, but every time you even came remotely near a bump on the freeway of life, I was right in front of you with all my signals blaring!!! I thought I was protecting you...I thought it was love..what did you see? maybe you saw an effort..

We fought endlessly on the kind of friends, lipsticks, shoes and hemlines, on appropriate behaviour, on career plans, time and again I felt unable to cope, to deal with my little girl who had transformed completely into somebody I had no clue about... Until finally one day I decided to look at my relation with my mom. It took a while but the answers were all there for me to see and wonder....I had raised hell as well for someone.. who was just trying to love me in a way that didn't probably suit me well enough! I realised all the things that I was doing or telling my daughter now were the exact things my mom told me.. even the tone was the same!! maybe the content changed but the issues were the same.. I remembered then how resentful I had felt of mom.. and I cud sympathise with my daughter, I also understood, though a bit late, what my mom would have felt in dealing with me, I sympathised with her too. Well where did all this sympathizing leave me? Probably with just a wee bit higher level of understanding... until the next issue threatened to bring down the roof on me and my daughter!

As a good Indian mom and housewife, I had always instilled in my kids the admiration and due respect for the sole earning member of the family - their dad! They loved and respected the hardworking and dynamic figure in the household who took on challenges head on, who worked hard and partied harder, who demanded the best and usually got it without as much as a tussle from his kids.. who even now came back from office to be greeted warmly by his wife and kids. Who never felt the tension in the house nor the misgivings of the late hours. A perfect parent, a role model!! For every inch that I fought to achieve with my daughter, he got with a smile at the mere mention of it. Here I ask what showed? his love or my envy?

Now my daughter is a mom herself and through sources I have come to know that she calls me her role model hahahahah - 'too little too late'? No, its pure joy that I feel..to me its love and love alone..can see no effort!! life definitely comes a full circle at some point and with every mom and daughter the circle however edgy does meet at the end!!

Youth Icon writeup anchored in Oman

"Aim for the stars, at least you'll soar high" a much often used phrase to encourage the kids to brush up and pursue their potential to the fullest. The stars that twinkle so bright need not just be in space, this ageless phrase does in fact talk about the bright young stars of today. Who blaze our galaxy by their sheer persona and talent.

The youth of any country is definitively very high energy, powerful, volatile and most often than not unfocussed. When, from amongst them a few, who have made their country proud are acknowledged and celebrated as Icons, they serve to spur the rest of their generation to go that extra mile. Be it sports, fashion, politics, media, entrepreneurship, every field has a blazing icon that looks at you from the posters and says, ”If I can do it, so can you!”
Oman, the country we live in is predominantly a young country, or to put it better, a country of the young. With over 50 per cent of the population aged 16 and below. Oman took a strong step on the global map in 1970, following a long period of isolation. The new Sultan steered the country from a traditional society to a modern one, embracing knowledge, technology, and the strength of roots. Today before us stands a nation that has come a long way in a very short period. A nation that has grown from strength to strength through the vision and the willpower of a young and dynamic Sultan. What better youth icon can a country ask for than the ruler himself?
As the country prospered, so did industry, and the two young seafaring brothers from Sur, with ambitious dreams and entrepreneurial skills not only made Bahwan a household name in the country, but they opened floodgates of opportunity for the youth of this country. Their contribution to the economy and manpower of Oman goes beyond recognition. Two blazing stars in the galaxy of icons for the youth with dreams and the tenacity to implement them.
A country of football lovers has an icon in Ali Al Habsi, who started playing at the age of seventeen and joined the ranks of the Oman under 19 squad, before he was spotted by the the English league to play for them. This young man now shines from the eyes of each kid with a football to toss around. Why limit icons to just men, it really makes me proud that the country we live in, though an Islamic nation has never believed in keeping the womenfolk behind veils. Today Oman is proud of young seventeen year old Buthaina Hamoud Al Yaqoobi. Her participation in the athletic event at the Beijing Olympics is in itself an inspiration to many Omani girls.
The Corporate arena of Oman is full of women who have proved time and again the importance of equal opportunity or no gender bias, their rise in the fields of their choice is a powerful guiding star to every young girl in Oman. The names are many, but the ones that cannot be left out are those of, Hind Bahwan - Director Suhail Bahwan Group, who has spearheaded the IT division of this group and is winner of many awards recognizing her commitment and contribution, Maitha Al MahroUqi is perhaps among the few women, who are heading the complete operations of an airline in the country, HH Sayyida Tania bint Shabib al Said is spreading awareness about the environment through
The Environment Society of Oman (ESO). The fields are varied, but the mission is the same to stay on the path of success and overcome any hurdle that may come your way, which as we all know, somehow manages to increase when it comes to women. These women are the torch bearers for the youth of Oman
The youth of any country is not constrained by geographical or political boundaries when it comes to choosing their personal star or icon, but it does give a boost to know that a kid just like them, with similar educational and social circumstances made it right up there. Youth icons make nations proud. They crossover nationality and emerge as global names to beacon each youngster who dares to dream. The recognition that a country, at times, gets through these icons is immense, Like Sachin Tendulkar, Sania Mirza, Sharukh Khan are synonymous with my homeland, India. Similarly Oman has and will continue to get global recognition through its young and aspiring youth. Here's saluting 'Shabab Oman'

The Land of the Pharaohs..

Like many from my generation, Egypt was much more to me than Geography or History lessons..amongst the other civilizations that we studied about, this land always managed to come out of the pages and live its story in front of us. The intrigue all the more deepened on reading and later viewing the famous "Death on the Nile". The pictures of the Pharaohs, The myths and legends of the land, The eternal river Nile and the supreme Pyramids were all impressions that left me wanting to someday reach out to this land... to see for myself the wonders man is capable of creating.

Egypt, when I finally reached its shores proved beyond all my expectations. The place is soaked in ageless history, The main city of Cairo, the present day capital is a confluence of modern and ancient architecture, an amalgamation of cultures that have conquered and lived in this country and left footprints for posterity. The Coptic churches, the Roman Towers, and also the Persian Citadel stand tall and majestic along with the bustling modern day city life and chaotic traffic of Cairo.


As I travelled to the various temples on the shores of the Nile, the legends came to life, The pharaohs and their Gods, the High priests and the common people, the sacred offerings made to the Gods filled me to the brim with their timelessness. The carvings on the walls seemed to speak out the tales of a time which was full of romance and mystery. Out of the many stories that are prevelant.. the one that touched me the most was the story of Osaris and his sister-wife Isis. The great and powerful Osaris was treacherously killed by his brother Seth and his body cut into pieces and scattered all over Egypt. Isis hunted down each piece and rekindled the spark of life into Osaris' body long enough for it to impregnate her with Horus to continue the great line of Gods. Isis became the God of love and magic, which actually sums up to motherhood, Osaris became the God of afterlife.

Nearly two and a half thousand years have passed since Alexander the great conquered Egypt, yet images from the myths of that ancient civilization continue to surface, In the 1970s Bob Dylan composed a song on the Goddess Isis, the eternal mother. The US dollar depicts an eye and pyramid - Masonic borrowings from ancient Egypt- and numerous Egyptian companies use names, faces and cartouches from the old mythology to promote their product and services. The monuments and myths of Egypt have since long crossed its shores and spread out all over the world as very well known and accepted figurines.

The land is not just mythical it has a history of powerful rulers and dynasties. Rulers who have crafted out monuments that have stood the test of time like none other. Simple and strong designs, intricate craftsmanship, logical and methodical thought process have gone into creating the temples and the pyramids. The legend of the female Pharaoh Hashteshput is remarkable as a citing of equality of gender in the ancient Egyptians. She ruled the nation for more than 15 years fought battles and defeated crusaders, the temple built by her along the Nile in the city of Luxor tells the tale of this great warrior queen who was later succeeded by her son Thutmose III. Her tomb is in the valley of kings along with the other Pharaohs of the land and not in the valley of the queens which was the usual burial destination for the queens of Egypt. Another pharaoh who knocked at my heart strings was Akhenaten, within five years of his rule, this pharaoh radically simplified the polyesthetic religion of the land and replaced the multitude of deities, with one sole God, Aten. The object of his worship was the bright light of the sun, rather than the sun itself. Akhenaten was a mystic and a poet whose love sonnets to his beautiful wife Nefertiti are still recorded in hieroglyphics. Their importance is much more pronounced as Akhenaten is followed by Tutankhamun(his son in law) on the throne. The most powerful and intriguing image of Egypt, Tutankhamun and his mask of gold... The child Pharaoh who died before the age of 18.

Tutankhamun and his golden mask symbolize Egypt for many, but the facts tell another story, Tutankhamun was a pharaoh, but not the greatest, as he lived and ruled for a very short period, but his story is tender and young, his tomb, discovered very late is full of treasures that tell a story of young love and beauty, of ornaments and jewels, beds and thrones of gold, there are small coffins or tabouths as they are called, inside the tomb of Tutankhamun which show the probability of many still born heirs of this child King.

Ramases II was the self proclaimed ruler of the lower and upper Egypt, the most powerful and the most popular of kings. His staues and temples form the basis of the new Kingdom, he conquered beyond the boundaries of Egypt.He ruled Egypt for more than 66 years. The temple of Abu Simbel is dedicated to him..he stopped just short of announcing his divinity.

Egypt cannot be complete without the mention of Cleopatra. The diplomatic and beautiful queen who came to the court of the 54 year old Julius Caeser rolled in a carpet, The love of Cleopatra and Mark Antony is equally linked to Egyptian history as it is to the Roman history, their asociation and romance around the city of Alexandria is a tale of passion and deciet, of careless neglect and lavish splendor. This last queen of Egypt commited suicide immediatly after the death of Mark Antony on 12th August 30 BC. No one knew for certain how she died. They only found small pricks on her arm. Some say she brought an asp to her chambers, smuggled in a cart carrying figs... her body was never found.

Beyond the kings and Queens, Beyond the pyramids, ageless and tranquil, neither rain fed nor born from any glacier flows the Nile... The beauty of its colour and the depth of its floor is vast enough to hold all the treasures of all the pharaonic burial chambers, the mystery of the land is washed clean by its waters and the golden sun arising from its shore each day blesses the pharaohs of the ancient times. Just as the Sphinx guards the pyramids, the Nile guards this ancient land and brings the softness of the queens to the land of powerful pharaohs.

When life gets blurred.... Read this with your audio equipment on

Jeebon jokhon shukaaye jaaye.. karunadharaye esho...Death is a preoccupation with me.Its probably because as a family, ours has seen many interrupted lives.we have had to let go and stand alone in the cold aftermath of death's finality. As a family we have been brave and strong, gentle in nursing each others wounds, in coming together and re-bonding the flailing spirits. As a family we have managed to move on. We have time and again embraced life.. danced and sang at weddings, laughed at shared jokes, welcomed new members with open arms.. hidden the scars from probing eyes.. but death continues to rule the roost in this family, in me.

The transience of life and the permanence of death is not something that we have read about or learnt at discourses, we have witnessed this in our midst. We have grown from tears to panic, we have researched all there is on fatal diseases, we have worried endlessly about simple fevers and aches, we have turned every headache to brain tumour and every fever to leukeamia, visit to a doctor's clinic has been panic stricken, every checkup terrorizing. Its not death that scares us... its the days before, and the days after, that stay embedded in our souls like fragments of shattered glass eager to renew the wound, eager to bleed all over again.

What have we witnessed that scars us so? Death is a part of life everywhere, all families go through this.. why is it then that death looms larger than life for us? I think it all boils down to the stripping of the spirit that we have witnessed. People we have loved and idolised from childhood have broken down and cried, faith - that no harm comes to good people has been stripped of its honour in the wake of terminal diseases, unconquerable spirits have pleaded, even begged for a few more years, to see their children through crucial phases, unanswered prayers, Gods of stone, unending pain and the shearing of dignity is what haunts the most. Death after all is not for more than a few seconds. But the defeat is timeless!

The fear lies then, not in dying, but in leaving behind untrodden paths, those numerous walks that were yet to be made, the laughter of children, the beauty of their development, the fear is of the pain and dealing with it, of losing independence and humour, of leaving behind a memory fraught in pain and disease of bearing the agony of dear ones arranging for the treatment funds, of being the reason for their despair along with our own.. of losing hope each day, of dying a thousand deaths before the actual hour strikes. What then is my prayer to the power beyond me? When I know that death is truer than life, when I know that pain is real. I ask for graciousness in acceptance, I ask for the light that will be the guiding star to show the way to a dignified end... shokol maadhuri lukaaye jaaye geetshudha roshe esho...